Borderline Personality Disorders
Borderline Personality Disorder is a crippling and disabling psychiatric condition that comes from a persistent and negative pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors, which then lead to negative inner feelings and negative self-defeating behaviors.
GROUP A: Negative Inner Feelings are troubling and distressing and include the following:
A chronic fear of real or imagined abandonment
A poor sense of identity with feelings of worthlessness and unworthiness
Severe depression and anxiety
Repetitive patterns of negative thinking/feeling that aggravate feelings of desperation and irritability leading to repetitive, impulsive, self-defeating behaviors
Poor concentration and inability to complete essential tasks
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate and intense anger
Stress-related experiences that lead to feelings of paranoia, de-realization and de-personalization
Thoughts of suicide
GROUP B: Negative Self-Defeating Behaviors include the following:
A pattern of intense, unstable negative relationships that alternate between extremes of idealizing or devaluing another person
Irritability and frustration leading to impulsive and self-damaging behaviors in spending, sexual acting-out, substance abuse, reckless driving and binge eating
Suicidal behaviors including suicidal threats, gestures and attempts
Self-harming behaviors (e.g. self-mutilation and other risk-taking behaviors)
Frequent displays of anger and recurring provocations of physical fights and confrontations
Excessive alcohol and drug use leading to dependence and addiction
If you have 5 or more symptoms in Group A and 3 or more symptoms in Group B, you may have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You can see that at best, BPD complicates relationships, and at the very worst, destroys them. If you think you may have BPD, Sherwood Couples Counseling can help. Please read on to improve your life and your relationships.
Steps in the Treatment Process
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a special treatment approach for BPD and we will organize your treatment plan around six stages with individualized goals for your specific needs. For detailed information about each of these stages, click the icon on the right side of each of the areas listed below.
You may already be able to describe effective behaviors when discussing another person’s situation but you may have difficulty applying similar behavioral responses for yourself. As we work together, you will discover the skillful benefits of becoming more assertive: asking for what you want and need from others; being able to say “no” when you can’t give what others ask of you. These skills will reinforce your good feelings about yourself and will help you to cope more effectively with interpersonal conflict. You will learn to make clear requests for what you want and you will learn to resist changes that are not in your interest to accept. The skills you acquire will maximize your ability to get what you want and need without changing or damaging your relationship with yourself or with others. Here are a few of the new skills you will learn:
Describe thoughts, opinions in a clear concise way
Express your feelings
Assert yourself by clearly asking for what you want and need
Reinforce your position by offering a positive consequence
Be mindful of what you want and ignore distractions
Appear and act confident even if you don’t feel confident
Negotiate with an unwilling person and be able to reach a compromise
Use appropriate language without resorting to verbal attacks or sarcasm
Listen respectfully and maintain good eye contact when the other person is talking
Show understanding and empathy for the other person’s position
Be calm and comfortable during your conversation
Be fair to yourself and the other person
Apologize once, if an apology is appropriate
Be true to your values
Always be truthful
One final word: to surrender old, worn-out dysfunctional habits may feel “un-natural” and may make you feel more vulnerable as you let go of what is customary and familiar. Very soon, you will see that those early habits were coping mechanisms, not very good ones, but they helped you survive in those early years in the midst of so much pain, confusion and uncertainty. You will be challenged in treatment to trust what you know is right rather than what feels right! Ultimately you will learn to trust yourself, then to trust others and eventually you will learn to trust what it means to live in an uncertain world in times that are no less uncertain. It is time to heal and to know that a world of hope and promise await you. Begin your journey now to free yourself from the negative inner feelings and negative self-defeating behaviors that rob you of the intimate relationships and the joy of living you deserve.